Audio ripped from The Shield, Season 3, Episode 12: Riceburner.
Operator: Hello, you've reached the Police Department's main switchboard. Please listen carefully to the following options. To be connected to a supervisor, because one of our jack-booted thugs mistreated you, and you want his goddamn badge, press one.
Ronnie: Cop I know sent it to me.
Operator: If you committed a crime you think you can bullshit your way out of, press two.
Ronnie: It's great, isn't it?
Vic: If you shut up and let us listen.
Operator: If you're shirtless and threatening your girlfriend with a knife, and don't want one of our officers interfering with true love, press three.
Operator: To report an incident of racial profiling, put down your crack pipe and press four.
Operator: If you can't locate one of your seven unsupervised, fatherless children, press five.